The Mo’o

Think about how awesome your life would’ve been if you were born hundreds of years ago into an ancient Hawaiian tribe. Wake up, go shark fishing, take a nap, get drunk off fermented pineapple wine, light torches on fire, dance with topless hula dancers and go to sleep with your stomach full of shark meat. It’s no wonder that when the first Europeans landed on the island soil, they were impaled and buried at sea. I wouldn’t want lame white people to hinder my lifestyle either. But they kept invading the paradise and before long it was a “there goes the neighborhood” type scenario. It’s also no wonder that they put a bunch of curses on their once sunny utopian homestead, before it was polluted with resorts.

Yahoo news had this article about a local  swimming hole (rope swing included) where tourists like to leap off a big rock into a crisp turquoise pool of water. It is advertised in many travel books and websites as a hidden gem, so travelers are very familiar with it and it isn’t really hidden anymore. Besides being overcrowded with tourists, Kipu Falls has also been plagued with an unusually high number of injuries and drownings. Witnesses report that swimmers are held underwater and “pulled to their deaths”, by an unseen force.

At first everyone was like: yeah don’t jump in there because there’s a powerful whirlpool current. But then aquatic expert scientists visited the swimming hole and were like: no this is obviously a completely calm, lovely pool of water. So why so many mysterious drownings? Is it possible that vengeful native spirits haunt the very waters of Kipu Falls? Yahoo had this to say:

The deaths have some locally questioning whether an angry “mo’o” — a Hawaiian water spirit lizard — lives in Kipu Falls.

The island of Hawaii is basically one big chunk of cursed paradise. Other legends include

  • Tourists who experience long bouts of bad luck when taking beach sand or volcanic rock off the island. That is if their plane even makes it back without plummeting into the sea
  • King Kamehamaha is said to be buried under the Kona Beach Hotel, where visitors have heard strange chanting and have felt eerie vibes from oil paintings
  • The Waimea Fire Station is purportedly haunted by a seven foot tall headless man
  • The Dole Cannery Mall was the site of a fatal school bus crash in the 1980s. Probably because the mall was allegedly built on top of a temple where human sacrifices took place
  • Highway 1 was built by cutting through mountains and took seven years to complete, because locals refused to help upon discovering the bones of Hawaiian warriors. Today it remains as Hawaii’s most haunted stretch of road
  • The Old Waialae Drive In Theater was built next to a graveyard. Before it closed in the 1980s, there were reports of a faceless women haunting the women’s bathroom and pounding on stall doors

If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself in Hawaii, the best thing to do is run.

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