Category Archives: Pirates

Black Beard


Source: Children’s Stories for Grown Ups



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The Bull Shark of Cherry Grove: The greatest short film ever to be shared on the internet

In the course of all internet history, never has something so provocative been captured by a mere man. YouTube was bound to reach its pinnacle, and on this glorious day, it has been grasped. The majestic video at hand is a short documentary, filmed by a mysterious red blooded American man, while on vacation in the Cherry Grove inlet of South Carolina.

The stage is set, with an atmospheric summer storm raging off the coast of a peaceful, beach side community. A young woman by the name of ‘Sarah’ is fishing right off her deck, which is one of the more righteous amenities a beach house could have. After several failed attempts, it is finally her turn to land a big fish to prove once and for all her place in the world. She gradually starts to reel in her prey, a well deserved prize, while contemporary country music triumphantly resounds against the crashing of hot rain and thunder. Sarah brings in her catch, but quickly learns that life always has a surprise around the corner, and that sometimes, God gives you bigger fish to fry.

This story has it all: terror, suspense, angst, artsy handheld camera angles, and metaphorical portrayals of capitalism, greed and the omnipresence of that elusive American dream. That when you finally find what you’ve eternally been chasing, something will emerge from the deep to snatch it away.  It even has an awesome catch phrase (It’s a Shiiark! A Shiiark! A Big ass Shiiark!). A big ass Shiiark indeed.

There is already buzz at the Oscar camp for a best supporting actor nom going to ‘Bobby’.

Watch the film in its entirety:

Indiana Indie-rock outfit Murder By Death released a song from their upcoming album, entitled I Came Around, to commemorate this deeply moving portrait of man vs. mother ocean. Listen to it here.

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A song about Sea Shanties

Leena was a Pirate Hunter

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Black Clouds are now Tiny Empires

A split between Tiger’s Jaw and the newly formed Black Clouds (members of O Pioneers!!!, Senders, Mid Carson July) was due for release on April 10th. Unfortunately, a band called Black Clouds already existed and hired this guy to sue the shit out of the artist formerly known as Black Clouds. They are now called Tiny Empires and the split should be out within 7 to 10 days. It will be a mesmerizing shanty of life because O Pioneers!!! were a mighty, mighty battalion. Stream it here.

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Whale Wars – Viking Shores

While the start to Animal Planet’s “Whale Wars” series has generally coincided with the beginning of summer, fans of the show are getting an early treat this year in the form of the new spin-off: “Whale Wars: Viking Shores.”
The five one-hour episodes kick off on April 27, taking viewers from the cold waters of the Southern Ocean to the picturesque seaside towns of the Faeroe Islands.
“There is only one thing wrong, only one blemish on this almost perfect society and that is this gross obscenity they call Grindadráp,” wrote Capt. Paul Watson last summer. “It simply has no place in the 21st century, no place in a civilized world. It is offensive to people worldwide. It is cruel, unnecessary, ecologically destructive and obscene.”
The cruelty touched upon by Watson, who founded the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, is the violent annual killing of almost 1,000 pilot whales. As they continue to do with the original “Whale Wars,” Animal
Planet’s camera crew will present the Sea Shepherd and their efforts to curb the slaughter.
“With over 20 killing beaches spread across 18 islands, stopping this hunt won’t be easy,” the network says. “For the first time in the history of the ‘Whale Wars’ saga, the Sea Shepherds are not only at sea but also deploying a covert team to patrol the streets, interact with locals and carry out undercover missions.”

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Vampires vs Ships

This statue:

is in Ireland and was built to “reflect the age-old anguish of a seafaring people who watched and waited for the safe return of loved ones.”

Inked post-Bonnie Raitt pop ballad artisan Christina Perri recorded this song about such ladies in waiting.

The Statue of Liberty is essentially the same kind of statue. Except the Statue of Liberty’s husband is probably 175 feet tall, which would make his boat even bigger. When that guy returns from his voyage he is going to eat and kill EVERYBODY.

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From CBS Philadelphia:


Scientists at the Academy of Natural Sciences, on Logan Circle in Philadelphia, are part of a team announcing the recent discovery of a species of lumbering fish that preceded the dinosaurs.

A sample of Laccognathus embryi. (Academy of Natural Sciences)

It’s genus is Laccognathus (“pitted jaw”), it’s species embryi (in honor of a Canadian geologist named Embry).  Numerous fossil heads and other parts of this prehistoric fish were found far north of the Arctic Circle, says Academy paleontologist Dr. Ted Daeschler.

“Laccognathus is a large fish, five to six feet in length.  (It) probably prowled freshwater steams and delta systems,” he says.  “Flat head, very small eyes, very big mouth, very big teeth.”

Laccognathus embryi is estimated to have lived 375 million years ago — prior to animals being on land but during a time of transition.  Laccognathus apparently had fins that were more like limbs, perhaps indicating its role in the evolution of water-based swimmers to land-based walkers.

“The Devonian Period was a turning point in the history of the Earth, and our studies of the fossil fish from that period really help us understand the evolution of the Earth and the life that lived on it,” Daeschler says.

But he says the Academy of Natural Sciences is not quite ready to display its Laccognathus yet.







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Pre historic dinosaur shark found alive…oops, nevermind



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Look at that crazy goddamn album cover. Just four guys partying on a raft in a salt water river that flows through an Alabama tropical rainforest. You would think that these gentleman are from Sweden and that they can play hours of psychedelic blues metal.

Graveyard – No Good, Mr. Holden

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Beard over ocean

From CNN

From his long, black hair to his Tricorn hat, braided beard and bandolier packing six pistols, Blackbeard the pirate was certainly inventive with his image.

He was also, according to new findings at what is believed to be the wreck of his ship, “Queen Anne’s Revenge,” inventive with his weaponry.

Munitions discovered at the wreck site, just off the coast of North Carolina near the inlet of Beaufort, include typical pieces of ordnance such as cannons, cutlasses and blunderbusses. But recent finds include two-headed cannon balls and lethal packages of shrapnel.

“We’ve found conglomerates mostly fused by lead, containing nails, glass and evidence of canvas,” said Mark Wilde-Ramsing, Deputy State Archaeologist (Underwater Branch) for the North Carolina Department of Cultural Resources and project leader for expeditions to the wreck.

“It’s a bag of what you would now call shrapnel, and as it’s shot out of a cannon, it busts open and just sprays the opponent’s crew with the stuff, sweeps the deck,” he explained.

While his piratical career wasn’t that long, he made such an imprint because he used psychological warfare
–Pat Croce, owner of St. Augustine Pirate & Treasure Museum, Florida

Also found were cannon balls linked together either with barbells or bolts of metal, that would cause havoc when shot, spinning through the air and damaging enemy ships. For Wilde-Ramsing, these findings indicate creative and contingent thinking on the part of Blackbeard and his cohorts.

“They had limited access to traditional military stuff, which is why they’re using these other things, because they couldn’t pull into a port to get them,” he said.

Often, Blackbeard would simply let his reputation precede him, said Pat Croce, owner of the St. Augustine Pirate & Treasure Museum in Florida.

“While his piratical career wasn’t that long, he made such an imprint because he used psychological warfare,” said Croce.

“He had this long black hair and he would insert slow-burning cannon fuses underneath his hat, so that he would be encircled by smoke and the sailors or prey on the merchant ships would see Satan coming towards them,” he explained.

Croce, who collects pirate memorabilia and even visited the wreck site after it was discovered in 1996, recalls seeing numerous cannons and blunderbusses lying on the sea bed. Twenty-four cannons have been found by Wilde-Ramsing’s team, and 12 have so far been brought to the surface.

But despite his impressive and creative arsenal, Blackbeard and his crew did not want to sink their opponents’ ships.

“They weren’t trying to put a hole in the boat and sink it, they were just trying to cause enough havoc to slow things down and discourage the opponents — that’s what we are finding, that this is a signature of pirates,” said Wilde-Ramsing.

Much of what is located at the wreck comes up as conglomerates or concretions, which are composed of hard sand, shell and corrosion product, in which objects including weapons, bits of sail and even human bones have been found.

But Blackbeard’s riches — obtained when he blockaded the port of Charleston in South Carolina in 1718 — have not been located at the wreck site, prompting Wilde-Ramsing to believe that its crew ransacked the ship for the most valuable objects as it ran aground, leaving only heavy munitions, crockery and medical instruments.

The latest expedition to the site yielded the ship’s anchor but bad weather conditions kept further discoveries from being brought to the surface.

With hurricanes sweeping the sea-bed and scattering artifacts, the team is in a race to excavate the wreck fully in the next expedition, which is slated for the fall.

Wilde-Ramsing hopes that the excavation will provide as holistic a view as possible into the daily lives of the men on board “Queen Anne’s Revenge.”

“It will be a really great study to get into their heads and say, well, what were their priorities?” he said.

I don’t know why there isn’t a giant-budget-NC-17 black & white film about this gentleman. Of course it would be scored by Matt Pike and 4:40 into this song would basically back every sword fight. Except Blackbeard swats the oppositions cutlass aside with his bare palms, only to punch his unlucky foe in the neck, while 9 strings of pure down-tuned muck melts across the gray equator.

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